This is her story.. from the heart.

with her eyes closed, she saw bits and pieces of her life replayed in her mind in a dream. but it was not a dream. what it was, in fact, was the story of her life from childhood through adolescence. things were so much easier in the past. choices. decisions. life itself. it was hard not to wonder why. it was hard not to want life as simple as that. they all seemed distant like a fairytale.. although they were once part of her life. real. neither fantasy nor fiction.

when she was much younger, life was simpler and easy. whenever she was hungry, daddy would spread his wings and fly away, returning soon for her with more than she needed or wanted. whenever she missed a step or fell, her mother would be there to guide her back onto her feet. whenever she was faced with choices or problems, there were always parents to make the decision for her and they were always right. they were always there to correct her whenever she did wrong. mistakes made then were much easier to rectify. lessons taught then were easier follow and easier to understand.

she is growing older. she realized that she would get entangled in situations where she has to make decisions anytime and anyhow. she could ask advice from her parents and others but ultimately, it will be her own to make. it was hard to turn around each time and correct any mistakes she had made. it's even much harder when she has to live through the consequences of her mistakes. when reality hit hard, the hardest of all was probably when she doesn't know whether she has made the right choice or that she regretted her choice. corrections are like bitter pills - hard to swallow.

the weight on her shoulders has become increasingly heavier day by day. it was the weight of responsibility for herself to herself, her parents and to others. unknowingly, the full weight of this burden has been laid upon her ever since she was born. it was only when she grew and matured that she had begun to feel this weight. carrying this weight will only make her stronger.

as much as she hates it, life and choices go hand-in-hand. she realized that in order to pursue a better life, there would be more choices to make. they would be increasingly difficult to make. they bring great expectations with great consequences either way.

she sat there thinking. not knowing if it was the right decision made. maybe it was just a matter of a different direction in life. can there be right or wrong in this case? maybe not.

she does know one thing though. although life may be much easier back then, events of her past have been, now are and will always be things of her past. there are no rooms for u-turns in her life. she cringes and sometimes gets to the point of frustration when others remind her of past events of her life especially when they concerned the matter of the heart and mind. particularly more so when the events did not end on a high note... don't they know that they'd become stale after a while? don't they know that they become tiresome sooner or later? don't they know how difficult it was to let go? don't they know how much pain they've caused? why do they still wanna push her back? don't they want her to move on, and not fall back?

don't they want what's best for her in life? and that is different from what they think is best for her in life? don't they care what she wants and that she's happy now? don't they matter?

there is no denial that everything that happened was part of her life, but hey, she's moved on. deal with it. respect her choice. don't keep dragging her back into the potholes she had once struggled to get out. for her sake. please. let her live her life the way she chooses to and with her own principles... not the way you think is right or perfect for her, not the way you think it should be and not the way you think she should. life is real, not a fantasy.