Sexist remarks are a BIG turn-off

"So... What are you gonna do after you graduate?"

"I don't know. Find work lah I guess. Then do what? Takkan wanna stay at home and rot."

"But not easy to find work in Malaysia ehh.."

"Yeah I know. The biotech industry is not expanding fast enough as the BIG people said it was going to be."

"But you girls have it easy lah."

"... Huh? What is that supposed to mean?"

"If cannot find work, just find a guy and get married. Then stay at home, become
housewife. No need to worry. Just let the husband do all the work, all the worrying
and find all the money."

"......................"

Dear friend, the guy whom I've became friends with several months ago, but almost never talk to these days. for one too many reasons and misunderstandings unclarified between us.

I can't help but feel amused, somewhat insulted, plain uneasiness and rather disappointed at something you said when we had lunch together one day. Particularly more so since I didn't actually get to reply to what you said. Can't remember what you said? I don't blame you. It was probably insignificant and no big deal to you. But I definitely can't get it off my mind.

Amusing. Simply amusing. I'm surprised and totally amazed that there are people who still think like this now. I so totally hate that kind of narrow-minded perspective. I mean, come on, what century are you living in? Time has evolved, man. Wake up!

So you think women are born and bred with only one purpose that is to get married off? tTat we're trophies to be kept at home and showed off? Our value is worth more than that. I'm glad most women now notice that. I'm sorry that you evolved so slowly.

I should have given you a piece of my mind there and then. Come to think about it, I don't know why in the world I didn't. Given in any other circumstances, I would and I should have. Maybe it was because I did not know you that well at that time, I was probably trying to add two and two together in my mind to sum up your character which by the way, kinda turn me off a hefty lot. In case you're wondering. And maybe I was in shock.

Firstly, women do not and will not just simply marry any random Tom, Dick and Harry we bump into in the streets. Secondly, good guys don't just fall off from heaven and land right next to us. In other words, we don't exactly have it easy. It's a harsh fact of life but nevertheless true. Marriage is really once in a lifetime. How can we just marry any guy? And what was I thinking going on a date with you.

It's hard to find and know if the one is the one. He must fulfil the 6c requirements. Nope - not credit card, cash, car, condominium, career and club memberships. But of compatibility, companionship, comfort, co-partnership (equality, sharing same goals and passion in life), care and compassion.

I think given the opportunity and choices women have these days, I count it as a blessing to have a career. My parents invested so much in me to get me an education. The least I could do is repay them. To date, I've invested 17 years out of the 21 years that I've had so far in getting educated. And that is not cheap. The least I could do is repay my own hard effort by putting into use the knowledge and skills I've gained. Earning and making my own money. Learning the ropes in the industry. Getting first-hand experience. Getting a raise and promotions. Stuff like that.

Maybe you didn't mean it this way when you said what you said. But hey! If you don't want it to mean otherwise, phrase your thoughts properly. Or explain yourself. Even if it was just a joke or a remark. Go for communication skills workshop! Either way it was still sexist because whatever that comes out of your mouth has to come from some part of you. Just so you know. this approach is anything but good to use when you're trying to impress or get a girl. It'll just repel them.. someway or another. So unless you have a change of mindset, try thinking before you say anything.

Sincerely,
Daesi.. the one whose weight you asked a thousand times, but to this day and forever will remain as none of your freaking business.