Wedding - Behind the scenes

(these are official pictures, taken by michael sin)

the morning of the wedding.


having our hair and makeups done. see what has become of our dining table. when we're not eating on it, we're doing our work on it. if we're not doing work on it, we're reading newspaper there. for this special day, it becomes especially messed up with many, many makeup stuff and hair styling apparatuses.

old faithful multi-purpose dining table. as old as i am.


my mom chit-chatting with my relatives all the way from sarawak and brunei. doubt my brother was talking much. i know this cuz he can speak neither mandarin nor hokkien. both my mom and noknok are wearing winnie-the-pooh t-shirts. so cute. hahahaa. go liverpool and winnie-the-pooh fans!!!!

.. and i don't know where that came from.


have no idea what she's pointing at. probably noknok or my mom or my aunty was asking or showing something.


i love the photo of jie jie and my mom. even this almost-two-decades-old kitchen with all the mess and the magnets-infested fridge looks so nice in the picture.


the brand-new wedding car. strike numbers you know. not kidding. somebody from the groom's side actually bought 4D with these numbers. got second prize or something. blessed numbers. don't play-play.


hehe. here i can safely say that these are all ready poses. once we arrived, my sister had to wait in the car while my mom, uncle julian (the driver) and i run away from the picture. yalah, the nu zhu jiao today is her. can't steal the spotlight. see, we run fast fast.


poor thing has to practice and memorize the speech he was going to give in front of everybody. glad to report that he gave an almost perfect mistake-less speech. except for one mistake, which my mom was quick to point out... he accidentally addressed my sister as chareen, not as jie jie. kena say "mei you li mao" (no manners).




me wiping her sweat, making sure makeup don't run. michele adjusting her hair. i just noticed how strange my hair looked in here. one curl strand black, another brown, then another one is black, and the other one brown. my genes can't decide which to dominate - brown or black :P aihhhhh. i wanna curl my hair permanent like that.

wedding dinner time!


all-women power! hahaa. the guys busy setting up instruments, traffic control, etc.


the dinner seating arrangement was such a disaster, a mess and so migraine-inducing. nobody could agree on anything. so we cracked our heads and devised a workable system that would be fair to all guests.

ok. so this was how it worked. seatings on highest-angpao-get-best-seats basis.

* upon arrival of guests, any angpao is given to the first person.
* first person checks, tells the second person the amount who later tells us.
* then poh lin and i would quickly decide which table to taruh them, while the first and second person keep the guests busy, e.g. make them sign guestbook or chit-chat.
* best angpao gets front and/or aisle tables with good view. ok-ok angpao givers get tables with relatively good view. no angpao, go sit at the back or somewhere hidden behind the pillars.

the system sure work one!










did you actually believe all that b.s. har?

The Unofficial Exam Timetable is out...

... and i'm not sure whether i should celebrate. for reasons.

[#1] in previous semesters, i used to have four papers spread out over the span of three weeks with at least a 3-day break in between. but this time, i have three papers that i have to sit within 5 days. less than a week! S-I-A-O.

15-june-2007: genetics of development
18-june-2007: the practice and application of science
19-june-2007: bioactive chemistry

but madhu told me that close-spaced exams are better (??) because we don't have to endure the long agonizing wait for the whole exam thing to be over. i really don't see the good of it. maybe because i'm accustomed to long breaks in between. gave me more time to study (or rather, sheepishly, that's the only time i study for real) and focus for the next paper.

this only meant that my final finals would be over in a blink of an eye, no more last minute studying, and i have to start studying and revising this instant.

but here i am complaining, complaining, complaining :P

[#2] i realized this is going to be the last time i'll be sitting in that freaking cold multi-purpose hall, scribbling nuts on the answer sheets, trying hard to resist the urge to scream in frustration... aahhh, i'm so gonna miss the head invigilator's loud, booming monotonous voice which has been a huge part of my life for the past 3 years.

the first thing he says:
"ladies and gentlemen. will you now place your monash ID on the top right-hand corner of your desk....."

then somewhere in the middle:
"there will be no noting, writing or the use of calculators during the reading time. *long pause* you may now commence reading."

ten minutes before time:
"your attention please. all of you have ten minutes left. none of you may now leave the hall."

nostalgia. déjà vu. hahahaa.

[#3] as a fresh face and naive freshman, i've been looking forward to the end of all this reports, 1,000,000-word essays and assignments. now it's inching nearer and nearer. so near, i can feel it breathing down my neck. i'm confused. even more undecided than ever. do i really belong in science? or should i just switch to something else? what's next?

Yet another year

so. my birthday was spent, almost the entire day, in the campus in tutorials and lectures. fun isn't it? life. can't expect the nation to declare public holiday just because it's your birthday. now that's a good idea, ain't it? God, why didn't i transfer to clayton campus?? at least they had today off... although it was not because it was my birthday *haha* :P

just for those of you who don't know, i share same birthday with one of my best friends in high school. we were in the same class for 5 years (primary 6 until form 4), attended christian fellowship meetings together, applied to be a librarian together, menyandang jawatan ketua harian pun sama-sama and we have the same co-curriculum activities right up to form 5. to the point that people actually refer to us as twins because you don't, you can't and you won't see one without the other. hahaa. what adds on the extra something special is our shared birthday and shared faith.


here's an *insert* ugly *insert* high school picture of us. so kiddo-ish, pimple-ish, naive-ish, immature-ish. note to self: need to take more current pictures with her (lousy *cough* camwhoring *cough* excuse *cough cough*). of course. technically speaking, we are not really biological twins so we don't look anything alike. it'll be freaky if we did.

i used to think april 17 was so odd, nobody else would EVER have the same birthday. so wrong. now i know three others with the same birthday. plus jennifer garner, victoria beckham and some korean actor called lee jun ki (or something like that). that's why, don't try to act smart and unique. God knows better.

but friendster not fair lah.


how come she gets to be 22.....


and i 21??

mana aci??? *mengamuk*

Sack the Meteorologist!!

no downpour during our days there in penang! ok. except maybe for the final hours on the last day before our bus back to kl. weather forecast wrong, wrong, wrong!!! somebody should sack the meteorologist! hahahaa. ok. i know that the weather forecasts are all given benefit of doubt and room for errors cuz they are called weather forecast, not weather report. bah! the gracious and merciful awesome big Man up there heard our prayers and instructed mother nature to behave well! hahaa.

good news is we all had a great time in penang and we all got burned by the sun. me VERY in particular.. wait.. is that good news?? i had to go to Guardian pharmacy today to buy the Aloe Vera gel for soothing burns cuz they are really burning hot! i remembered using it for my skin peeling problem last time which i used to get once or twice each year throughout my childhood right through adolescence up to college. used to peel so bad that four layers would come off and sometimes bleed. burning sensation, difficulty to write or hold anything. want to bathe and shower also difficult. grosses me out when i think of it. gross right??

it hasn't occurred since 2003, strangely and luckily. friends in MUFY would have seen it before.. Piggy definitely would remember. not sure about Madhu and Suzan though. that condition hindered me from doing lots of stuff which a normal kid would do - washing school shoes on saturdays, washing plates after dinner, wiping windows in class or for library duties or at home.. basically anything to do with dirty water i can't do. friends commented that i'm very tai siu jie.

now. how in the world did i get to that part of my life?

anyway, this trip was a welcoming break from my monotonous lifestyle for the past year (or years, take your pick). lectures, reports, assignments, labs. my whole summer had fun and relax factors deprived due to my decision to take research project. not that i regret it, i just wished the timetable and some people (whom shall remain unnamed) had been more flexible. in fact, i feel that this ongoing semester seems more relaxed than summer. serious.

this trip was also a breakthrough for me. i don't know in what terms but hey, i felt free!!! i have loved travelling ever since i could remember. as some of you may already know, i hate being tied down to tour groups and rigid timetables. maybe you get to see as much or even more than your money's worth, but nothing feels better than exploring the place yourself. with friends, of course. or family. i think you really get to see and enjoy more this way. even if it meant walking more than 5 kilometres under the scorching sun from botanical garden to Gurney drive. that's exactly what we did. yes, i'm dead serious. yes, we are mad. very mad. and loving it. hahaa. wanna join in the madness?

sigh. i haven't played enough. coming home, i feel strangely depressed, repressed and lonely. lonely because i awaken in the morning to nobody else but myself in my room. living with two other people in the same room for the past few days brought back comfortable feelings and old memories of my sister. now i'm really beginning to realize how much i miss her..

how much i miss having company in the room, the late night chit-chats (even if they were nothing significant), quarrel for space, her scolding me in her attempt to sleep to switch off the lights when i'm up late nights finishing my work, her inaudible sigh - although loud enough for me to hear - while clearing the mess of textbooks and papers on the table in the room courtesy of me :P, her late night cooking porridge on the phone with her then-boyfriend-now-husband... eee, better stop. nanti even more depressed.

hmmm. gotta go back to my assignments, dearly nicknamed "asses". one done. one more to go. and the cat is howling in the alley behind my house. God knows why.

Friends forever??

you know, i never thought that we would cross each other's paths ever since what happened between us. although it had happened more than six months ago, i can still vividly remember that very night as though it had just occurred yesterday. it was a night full of regrets on both sides - mine and *hopefully* yours too.

i know that when you saw me the other day, my face had "uhoh" and "disbelief" written all over it. that i cannot deny. i was the master of emotional disguise in my teenage years, masking whatever i felt with my happy outlook. was it self-denial? or was it simply optimism? it was much easier then, i don't know why. i admit it's tough. but i was shocked to see you. especially at that place at that time. of all the time and of all the places in malaysia (ok, i know malaysia is not that big BUT STILL!!!).

remorse. regrets. disappointments. that was what i felt from you when i saw you. but what has been said and done are already bygones. i have so much to say to you. yet all these words fail to form on my lips. even with my mouth open to speak, no sound came forth.

from my heart, i have already forgiven you. i believe that everyone else around you would say the same. i cry out to God everytime i remember you, praying that He would one day touch you and change you. there you are, going back to your promiscuous and notorious ways. it hurts. it hurts so much watching you falling back to your past, the past where you were once so very determined to leave, to erase and to let go.

i cry out to God to forgive and heal me. and also that you would forgive me and many others who have failed you in many ways. that you could not feel that people cared for you only meant that we, as your friends, were not caring enough. that you could not feel loved by people around you only meant that we, as your friends, were not warm, kind and loving enough. that i, as a friend, did not make known to you the value of our friendship. that you felt that God has preferences in showering His love only meant that i have failed in testifying to you His endless and unconditional love. that you felt that God abandoned you only meant that our friendship was not enough. that i, as a friend, was not encouraging enough. that i, as a friend, failed to give you the sense that you could count on me anytime.

it hurts so much to hear you say that no one cares and God doesn't care. with so many friends God has placed around you. He cares. we care. but everytime you are about to reach the decisive turning point in your life and everytime you are halfway there, doing well (probably better than i am) in your walk with God, you give up and push everyone away by all means. you push one away by professing your "love" for her. you push another away by picking up a huge fight over petty things. you push me away by swearing at me. things already went overboard one too many times. i'm exhausted.

to tell you the truth, i had no idea how should i greet or even talk to you now. not the slightest clue. can we really go back as before and pretend that none of these ever happened? honestly, i don't know. what should i say? or rather, what could i say? how do i react? are we as what we considered close as before? too many questions, too little time to think.

too many wrong turns journeying into unfamiliar territories. is there a way back? even if there is, i can't seem to find it. can we find our way back? or is this, as you wrote in your letter to me, the end of it all and the release of this friendship?