Too exhausted to even bother.

ok. so for the test performed the day before, there were no results.

you asked me whether i pipetted the volumes correctly.

of course was my reply.

i was pretty darn sure about that.. after all, it was your protocol i followed. if that was wrong, it's just a wonder whose fault might that be.

fine. troubleshoot further (troubleshooting may be fun when you're in the OK mood but when you're exhausted it's not). so the one problem left might be that one or both reagents expired.

go make new sets of reagents. that's what you told me.

i knew i had no choice cuz they'll be needed tomorrow.

i look at the clock and it was fifteen minutes to 5. i can forget about driving home before the famous sunway rush hour traffic jam starts.

the first one, the standard solution came out just fine. thank God.

then came the second one. the colour reagent. i was prepared to weigh according to the initial set of protocols you gave me. i had my instinct to thank for this time.

had i not decided to ask you about certain things before i started, i wouldn't have known that the present set of chemicals were of different units and that an entire different set of volumes/weight to be used were different than the ones you gave before.

if i had made it anyway, it would have been wrong and i would have been mercilessly deep-fried by you. after all, these chemicals are really REALLY expensive and imported from japan, right?

so i somehow managed to carry ten chemicals with just two hands of mine to the nearest balance in the next lab. weighing out each one carefully and as accurate as i can.

the balance wasn't helping at all. it was fluctuating up and down happily while here i was, standing and walking for almost the entire day and obviously drained of energy.

well, the colour reagent was supposed to be (ironically) colourless. somehow it came out slightly yellowish.

it's not supposed to be coloured at all, you tell me. maybe too much peroxide.

too tired to even respond and argue. but even in this exhausted state of mind, i was sure i weigh everything out accurately. those of you who did lab practicals with me, you should know how meticulous i get when it comes to accuracy and getting good, usable results.

after a moment of silence and staring, you say to my face "what's wrong with you?".

what the hell??!!!??! insulted, i was. pissed, not quite. then again, too tired to even bother feel angry-insulted or defend myself.

i slowly walk to the nearest basin and threw away everything in the bottle. re-make.

this time, i double-checked the volumes/weights with her set, had her stand there and see it through. guess what? it came out the same colour again. what a waste of chemicals, waste of time and waste of energy. stupid.

what's my problem? you are.

Proud of OUR Boys

i had a dissection session this morning at 8. my common practice would be to sleep as early as i can the night before irregardless of whatever happens, so that i won't wake up all dazed with thumping headaches. but siao! it was our very own malaysian double pair in the finals of the asian games, i would never miss it for the world!

they had to schedule the match to be played last - after the women singles final, men singles final and women doubles final. sigh. the men singles was nice to watch, but as are all singles matches, they tend to be long. it was a shame lee chong wei fell in the semifinals (yet again). but anyway, my personal favourite indonesian taufik hidayat retained his crown in straight games. i thought china's lin dan was a bit distracted and affected by the indonesian supporters in the first set. the crowd was C-R-A-Z-Y, MAD and NNNNOOOIIIIIISSSSYYYYYYY!!

anyone remember hariyanto arbi? sun jun? foo kok keong? yang yang? ong ewe hock? hendrawan? those are players in the 1990s who were and still are my favourite men's singles players.

the women doubles went to three sets. three sets! thump. the anticipation was killing me. men doubles, start already!!!



it started at almost 1am. 1am!! did you know it was scheduled at 12am??!!?!! but i was not gonna go to sleep. after all, it was late already so *hahaa* one more hour no harm lahhhh. haiyah, i stay up so late already.. if i go to sleep, then jia lat (wasted effort) only.

time and time again, malaysian shuttlers had done so well only to falter when it mattered... like thomas cup, world championships, olympics, etc. finishing second best, third best. all the waiting and the anticipation were getting agonizing. we were getting exhausted, trying our best to show that it didn't matter and our tidak-apa-kalau-kalah facial expression and body language when in fact it is this tidak-apa attitude which is killing the sport. all hope, faith and joy was waning.

i have to give it (in fact i think we all should) to this malaysian scratch pair tan boon heong and koo kien keat for their mental strength, agility and determination. congratulations tan boon heong and koo kien keat for restoring hope in malaysian badminton and faith among your supporters, and for being the asian games champion 2006! thirty-six years have been too long a wait for us for a gold in badminton. it was time somebody stood up above the rest and show them how it's done. and you've done it! hats off to you!!


they've definitely found a fan in me. i love their aggressive and smashing style, which i dearly missed watching in badminton men's doubles since indonesia's ricky subagdja and rexy mainaky, chandra wijaya and sigit budiarto, and malaysia's cheah soon kit and yap kim hock... ironically, the current coaches for malaysia are rexy and yap kim hock. i love the way they play 100 miles per hour and yet smartly placing the shuttle at the right place and the right time. you can just feel their utter determination and fiery spirit watching them. it's addictive, even more addictive than any drugs and ice-cream! a spirited, humble play is a greater joy to watch compared to a perfect but arrogant play.

it was apparent, however, that their coordination was still lacking and needs work. can't really blame them cuz this pairing is new and very young (and i mean very, VERY young... tan boon heong was a last-minute replacement for koo kien keat's regular partner). but they make up for this lack with their speed and agility so amazing you won't and you wouldn't believe your eyes! if they keep this up and mould their coordination, i believe they are very well on their way to being world beaters like squash's nicol david... not just a one-time wonder.

once again congrats! i'm proud of you, the whole nation's proud of you. we're rejoicing with you. i hope that this fire and thirst for greater success for yourselves and for malaysia will be endless - not just a one time thing - and press on. if the wall doesn't move in front of you, push harder. if the wall still does not budge, then use a sledgehammer :P


and i hope *cross fingers* that rexy will change his mind and not leave cuz there's plenty more for him to teach and impart, and plenty more to learn and improve.

p.s. another proud moment would have to be hearing "negaraku" playing and the crowd singing along at attention. it was so overwhelming that i wished i had been there.

29-11-06: after nine long years...

so. wondering whose backs are those in the picture? hahaa. those two, my dear friends, are my one and only elder sister and romuald.


see? i wasn't bluffing. heeheehee.

so. where were they? they're at the National Registration Department (NRD) in Putrajaya. what were they doing there? they're registering their marriage lah! finally. hahaha. nine long years of courtship... akhirnya mereka kahwin!

it was pretty obvious everybody knew this day would come. it was just a matter of when and where. come to think of it, they hardly had any arguments. if they did, they dealt with those issues rather well. i can only recall one major argument back when we were still in TWC. but even that, i thought, was a real misunderstood situation which was interpreted rather negatively and passed onto him. i was there when it happened, and to this day i never thought or had a change of mind that it went out of line.

anyway. more pictures! wanna see them reciting the rukun negara ikrar or not? this was to test whether they're really pure blood sincere malaysians.


hahahaa. no lah, gurau aje. they're reciting marriage vows. nobody in their right state of mind would wanna lafaz ikrar negara on their wedding day.

the surprise of the day for me came when my dad remarked that he should not be one of the witnesses as he was giving away his daughter and someone else should. guess who became the witness? yeah, me. like my sister said (much later in the evening), "this is probably the most adult thing you've ever done since you turn 21". and i went, "... so you mean most of the time i'm childish lah?". she gave me that you-know-what-i-mean look.

the lady officer at NRD counter took one look at ours IC, looks up at both my sister and i and asked, "ini kembar ya? (your twin sister?)". we stared at each other, thinking "not another one" and had a really REALLY good laugh. so many people have hard time believing we are even related in the first place... it's funny how people always either say that we look SSOOOOOOO much alike that my uncle once remarked we have photostated faces, or we don't look anything like each other. so what is what now? don't confuse me :P


five minutes to complete the registration and all, one hour photographing session :P presenting my family as of november 29th, year 2006.

Post-Exam Destressing - Mandatory Retail Therapy!

yes it's that time of the year! hahahaa.

in the span of four days, i've been to three different shopping malls. bought many, many things. i know people are always thinking that we just love to hua qien (waste money) but on a contrary and in my self-defense (and many girls), i only buy things that i need and want. anyway, think i'll be doing a fair amount of shopping within these 3 months since i'll be out of action and going back into my tortoise-shell shelter once next semester commences. sigh. already feeling stressed just having that thought.

on tuesday, met up with piggy & chimp in sunway pyramid for shopping spree and end-of-semester movie celebration "the departed". the movie was good.. although i'm not sure how it stands up to "infernal affairs", the 2002 hong kong movie which the storyline and plot was taken and adapted from. from what i heard, "infernal affairs" was better. now i wanna rent the dvd and watch the original thing. hehe. the censors in this movie were rather irritating because the f-word pops out as often as the letter "s" appears in mississippi. so the parts were snipped, scenes were jumping and giving me headaches. and towards the end, the supposed-to-be-censored parts were not even "muted" properly. you hear the f-word loud and clear, and whatever follows after that gets muted. so much for censorship. then there were other words which did not get cut such as a**hole, shit.. no, no more examples to preserve the *cough* sanctity *cough* of my blog :P

all the lead actors in "the departed" stood out in their own way.. leonardo dicaprio - excellent potrayal of the undercover cop who becomes stuck in confusion with his own identity and his job, matt damon - the rat in the police force (ultimate rat), jack nicholson was way cool and notorious as mob boss.. one other actor who stood out was mark wahlberg who although plays an arrogant and irritatingly provoking cop, whom i thought was kinda cool because beneath all that was a cop who is dedicated to doing his job and seeking justice.


back to shopping. bought a pair of jeans, which i really need cuz the one i bought from hong kong is falling off my waist and hips. actually all of the pants/jeans i bought before this year are all wearing off and seriously falling off my butt that it is embarrassing. period. ask any friend of mine in uni (they know cuz they see me more often than others). anyway in other words, i have to buy new range of pants. if not, i have to pakai cheh-kai shorts mari kolej.

shoe fetish. bought two pairs of shoes/sandals - the white pair for my sis' wedding (both ceremony and dinner), bought after 2-hour walkaround sunway pyramid and picked by piggy and simran, my favourite stylists! and the denim covered shoes for fun. hahaa. can wear that on days i have lab sessions. better to wear for short days though, they can and they WILL kill you if you wear them for the whole day with active walking and standing. if you ask me, i think pyramid is a good place to hunt for nice shoes. as for clothes, there is no one definite mall that's all that.


my feet shrank from size 7-8 to size 6-7. help! i'm shrinking!

where were we? oh. right.

went to timesquare on thursday for dress shopping for my sister's wedding dinner. it was an odd choice of mall, according to my sis. but i had two shops in mind already anyway - SA creations & nicci fashion city. what i had in mind was something knee-length (or somewhat below the knee), don't mind sleeveless, something dark coloured (i wanted black initially.. hahaa, sooooo influenced by keren)... wanted to stay away from baby colours, which was a pretty good advice from piggy. i don't want to appear sweet and childish because i'm already 21 and past my giggly girly stage for goodness sake! time to act my age. i wanted something simple yet elegant and modern.

there was no dress which caught my interest in SA creations. maybe because it was hard to find and browse through. but there were many dresses i liked and tried on in nicci fashion city (gosh i love the stuff there). wished i could buy a few instead of just one. hahahaa. the dress i bought was introduced and recommended by an indian salesgirl there. apparently new arrival. it was love at first sight. hehehee. like i said, wished i could buy them all. sigh... sadly, money don't grow on trees.

was wondering whether i should show a picture of me with the dress on, but thought it would spoil the surprise later on when i write, blog and post up pictures for my sister's wedding. then no more fun lor. hehe. but i'll post up a glimpse of one part of my dress. hahaa. nah..


not happy wanna see the whole dress? you'll just have to wait. after all, patience is a virtue right? it's brown. yes, to all of you monash-ians who went to this year's prom, it's brown AGAIN. i don't know what's with me and brown. i can't help myself if the dresses i like all turn out to be brown.

ok. fine. next time, i'll just look at the black ones.

p.s. sorry, the pictures are not very good & contrasted well... my own computer KO-ed since last month (and is not fixed thanks to my lazy bro), so i don't have photoshop to edit the picture. once it's back, i will edit the pictures.

p.p.s. does anybody know where to get knee-length denim skirts cheap? i.e. around rm50. and also decent long blouses? not long-sleeved, long length.

In love with 白袍之戀 (con't)

so. on monday i had 白袍之戀 withdrawal symptoms. hahahaa. siao. thought i'd continue on from my previous post. hehee. no, i wasn't done with my blahness from 白袍之戀.

moving on. one can't help but love mo fan as well, even though he isn't as good looking as qi xiu. he is what people would say gifted as a medical doctor. he learns quick, with brain that soaks up information like a sponge. he has the ability to diagnose diseases quick, and is also quick and meticulous with his fingers (essential for doctors). he is like the equivalent of dr gregory house (of house MD) with waayyyyyyyy better bedside manners and optimism.


he is down-to-earth, cares a lot about his friends and expresses his care in his own way although it may irritate others. a man of his word.. he takes care of qi xiu during 7 years yi ning was comatose because of the promise he made to her before he "put her to sleep". he is good at what he does. and i mean really good. genius is his middle name. but i guess that no matter how good he was in surgery, curing and saving patients of the hopeless cases, he realized that he had absolutely no control over the greatest enemy of all mankind... time... when qi xiu was diagnosed with acute liver inflammation, which drastically worsens with each minute and curable only with a miracle of an available compatible liver.


he is rash and impatient, but grows to think before taking his actions thanks to the more cautious and rational qi xiu, and sun qian who is the girl he eventually falls for. an extrovert who loves to help others, giving free medical care and preferring to open a clinic to help the poor and homeless people than stay in the bigshot hospital where fame and limelight are imminent. cool and cheeky (his cheekiness knows no bounds i tell you). daring and spontaneous.

michael zhang plays mo fan brilliantly. and i would say that acting wise, he's showed greater depth and acting range than dylan kuo as for this character there are plenty of comic reliefs, serious moments, crying and anger, crushed spirit when he realized he could do nothing except wait for a miracle in qi xiu's case. he's definitely a new addition to my favourite actors list which also include johnny depp, gary sinise, bosco wong and damien lau.


mo fan character brings light to the screen, especially with his pairing with sun qian. they are very compatible, funny, hilarious and so cute together. absolutely great chemistry. never seen such a compatible couple in a series since lawrence ng and choi siu fun in "healing hands".


sun qian is quite a reporter who is, like mo fan, gifted with a good mind of imaginations and ideas. she's brave (bonus prerequisite as a reporter), not afraid to speak her mind and always keeping the ones she care for happy. perhaps these characteristics which were somewhat similar to yi ning (but different in her own way) were what made mo fan attracted to her. even the similarities were noted by professor liu (yi ning's father) which had sadly reminded him of his daughter whom he dearly missed due to coma and would never see ever again.


another thing i like about this series was yi ning's style of dressing. for most of the series though she appeared in hospital clothes. hahaa. but for the little screen time she had, i think she has a good sense of style.. or rather the stylist who styled the character has a good sense of style. long skirts paired with long blouses and boots. i like. too bad it's not practical to wear long sleeves and long skirts in malaysian weather. born in wrong country? hahahaa. plus, her hair = long + wave and curls in the right places + really jet black + shiny + no rambut gatal sticking out at the wrong places = envy. really wished i could find pictures online that show yi ning's style, but it's so hard to find. sigh. maybe because of limited screen time.


so bo liao right? but sorry gals.. can't help myself larrr. i've been deprived of gorgeous guys ever since my university life began.. when do i exactly get the chance to feast my eyes? it's summer holiday! it is time to do bo liao things! hahaa. watching taiwanese dramas not only for the guys, but also for the girls.. just kidding. actually, to better my half-past-six mandarin speaking command lar.

now i feel like renting the series and watching it from beginning until the end again. one of the very rare series that i like and actually make an effort to catch each episode. i grew to be quite picky about what i watch these days, thanks to limited time i have to watch any tv if at all, contributed by university life... or is it just my life that is like that?? maybe it could be the realization of the essence and value of time in hand.


the end of my boliao-ness. hahaa.

In love with 白袍之戀

since last month, i've been hooked on 白袍之戀 (bai pao zhi lian). a taiwanese series showing on astro shuang xing channel. who else is watching it? nobody?? hahaa. thought so. jue bu jue de hen qi kuai xiang dao wo gen zhu kan "bai pao zhi lian" (finding it weird that i watch "bai pao zhi lian")?

basically the story centres around two medical doctors, mo fan and qi xiu. the former extremely talented but rebellious, the latter dedicated and rational. mo fan grew up with this girl, yi ning (the professor's daughter), and they thought they would end up marrying each other... until qi xiu (a new student) enters the picture. then the girl gets a disease called rasmussen's encephalitis... and then the story goes on and on for episodesssssssssss after that.


a great heart-wrenching and heart-tickling story nonetheless. one reason i love it is the story and plot. i know people say that those who love sad stories never experience heartache and heartbreak first hand. hahaa. well, i don't LOVE all weepy sob stories i watch, e.g. winter sonata especially the last 8 episodes where crying necessarily takes place throughout each 45-minute episode. reminds me of 青青河边草, but at least 青青河边草 was more endurable, probably because of - again - great story and issues. 白袍之戀 has a mixture of humour (witty jokes.. not lame ones) and serious romance. balanced.

the two male leads are so sooo sooooo... [the cursor has been blinking on the same spot for the past 7 minutes and 12 seconds cuz i can't think of exactly what words to describe] i've fallen in love with both characters. seriously if there were such guys alive, i would have fallen head over heels for them. but tough luck lar. good (looking) and compatible guys are either taken or *cough* gay *cough*. both are brilliant doctors, but nothing close to arrogant.



qi xiu is steady one.. dedicated, loyal, down to earth, speaks mandarin in such a deep and (i have to admit) sexy voice, great smile... he's so cool, shy, serious, rarely emotional but is so very sweet, gentle and caring towards yi ning. he's such a character to watch that you can't resist feeling sad when he's sad, feeling heartache when he's heart broken, smiling when he's being so sweet and detailed. protective but not over-protective. can melt lar if got boyfriend like that.


at least dylan kuo (the actor who plays qi xiu) looks and acts more convincing as a doctor than jerry yan. maybe i'm biased. it's not a secret that i don't like jerry yan. i know there's one friend who would kill me for saying this, but dylan kuo is better an actor than jerry yan.. or rather showed greater improvement from their debut series. furthermore, i find that jerry often needs to say out loud how he feels or what he thinks in scenes in order for the audience to actually know what on earth was supposed to go on in his mind.. it's a weakness IMO. which is why i'm more impressed with dylan who has wider range of expression and didn't need to say everything out to be able to capture the substance of the character. but then againm maybe these are differences in characters they play at fault.

singing-wise... jerry shouldn't sing. even in studio recordings he sounds flat throughout. as for dylan, i wouldn't say his voice is that great but he sounds better. maybe because his voice is deeper, huskier and not so sucked in? hahahaa. pretty decent lah. but nothing too hoo-haah fantastic-bombastic if compared to jay chou, david tao, leehom, jj lin, nicholas teo and guang liang.


but wa tak suka his hairstyle in this show. good thing his usual style is short, but he looks young and sort of bad-boyish in that style. i do see why he needed to grow it ala F4 style (long, mop-like). looks more serious, like a doctor. why did qi xiu have to die in the end?? after 7 years of finding a cure for his girlfriend, waiting for her to wake up from coma only to realize she had forgotten everything that had happened in the past 7 years, and then he is strucked by acute liver inflammation which is 70% fatal. only then she remembers everything. the scene in which he proposes to her and then dies in her arms was so sad. and knowing me who gets emotional and teary everytime i see someone cry/sad.. sigh... you sendiri faham-faham lah.

qi xiu did show symptoms of acute liver inflammation (probably he was infected with hepatitis B/C/D virus through blood which had seeped through his wounds). sadly enough but true the symptoms are not very obvious nor serious, which was bad. he had loss of appetite, paleness, more tired... the worst part is that "acute" defines short-term sudden massive attack of the viruses with death most likely within several days or at most 6 months. see, the liver is crucial for storing glycogen (important for energy), numerous biochemical activities and detoxification of toxins and drugs in the body. if the liver cannot function, your blood eventually gets poisoned, etc.

go here, here and here to read more. best treatment is liver transplant. probably the most difficult issue in cases of acute liver inflammation is difficulty in getting even one available liver donor and more so, compatible one. and even after transplant, one have to pray that the body doesn't reject the organ.


another thing that is great about 白袍之戀 is the relationship between qi xiu and mo fan. i like how the writer portrays and develops their relationship, friendship and rivalry.

they were rivals as they were the best in their field, rivals in love with the same girl and rivals as doctors in the same hospital. despite ups and downs and rivalry, you see nothing less than mutual respect and growing trust they have with each other. that's strong friendship. they were enemies of enemies, and yet they were tight-knitted buddies... like brothers.

What a joke/embarrassment/disappointment...

so. we have a vision 2020.

we want to improve every aspect in our country to make it one of the forerunners of developing countries. we want to improve our education system.

and we want to evolve our teaching methods to suit the 21st century. simply because the message and knowledge remain the same, but the method must change. old things just don't work no more.

and we want to raise the standards of our local graduates from primary school to high school to college to university. in other words, we want to produce high-quality and well-equipped graduates for their next stage.

and we want to increase the passing rate of the nation. how?? by raising the quality of our education... right?

nahh.. this is how they do it.



by decreasing the limits of all grades by 5 marks. now you just score a 35, and you pass. and you can score a 66 in a paper and proudly declare that you scored an A... when it's very well a B. or C by college/university's standards.

revamped system? my foot.

how is this supposed to help our malaysian students? ok. so the excuse is we want to get HELP them into colleges by HELPING them qualify with "better" grades. but hey, how exactly are we helping them? how exactly are we preparing our high school graduates for colleges and universities, where the passing mark is 50? with even harder things to learn, challenging stuff to digest and remember? siao.

it's such a joke you know.. embarrassment.. disappointment.. whatever you wanna call it cuz i can't even begin to choose one that suits.

look. i may be able to accept the new system IF the syllabus was getting harder and tougher. but without even checking through the new textbooks, i know they can't be any harder than what i had five years ago and what our parents had back in the 1960's and 1970's. for goodness sake, the students should REJOICE that progression was taken out of additional mathematics!

i can't help but think whether the public school system is providing and preparing students these days well enough to send them through to college? i mean, tell me.. throughout your years in forms 4 and 5, how many times have you actually conducted a proper experiment? or even handled an apparatus? or even get introduced to lab apparatus? or even taught how to use and manage a pipette, or how to measure volume using a burette? you know Benedict's solution turns blue in the presence of a reducing sugar (cuz you were taught about it in school), but how many of you have ever seen that happen with your eyes in school?

lowering of mark-grading limits... wouldn't that spoil them? allowing them to glide into their comfort zone? not pushing themselves harder? building a future of laziness and convenience dependency.

ironically, this new marking and grading system may truthfully reflect or somewhat reflect the real grading system used in SPM.. which is often always reduced. for me, i never understood how i ever got a B3 for Moral in SPM when the highest i ever got in school was C5.